|
 So
you’re keen on the Weird and Wacky Web, are you? And you wish you could
enjoy it forever?
Well,
perhaps we can arrange it.
Meet Alex
Chiu, who, despite his fractured English, has managed to make an offer
that beggars — nay, buggers — the imagination. He calls it
Alex Chiu’s Eternal Life Device.
Eternal
Life Device is believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever.
Magnetic device strengthens metabolism and frees blood circulation
generating a super human body. Patent pending. The most important
invention in human history . . . Please believe me. Everything you read is
true and is important. Now people do not have to age anymore.
As I
understand him, there are really two devices — The Eternal Life Rings and
The Eternal Life Foot Braces. The Rings you have to wear on the little
finger of each hand, the Braces on all ten toes, “as long as you wear the
rings or foot braces every night during sleep”.
It would
seem that the Rings and Braces are alternatives: you don’t need both,
provided you put the device of your choice on the right and left limbs —
positive and negative terminals, don’t you know?
Sensible
fellow that he is, Alex fully expects a bit of scepticism, scrutiny and
ridicule:
I am not
one of those stupid moron who don’t know what I am doing. I know about FDA
. . . One phone call to the FDA by an unsatisfied customer then I’m in BIG
trouble . . . [but] I have no choice but be brave and face the danger and
laughter! . . . There is a good reason why I am doing all this. BECAUSE IT
WORKS!!! Isn’t that cool? I’m selling eternal life right off of internet .
. . All statements are my true beliefs. There are not at this time yet
medical claims. The devices are for private experimentation of the buyers,
not to be as medical treatment on other’s body.
Wow! I
feel younger already. How about yourself? |
