To play a Chopin Polonaise
Would not be awfully easy,
Specially on a keyboard greasy
With a coat of mayonnaise.
Nor can cheap and punctured vellum
Help a novice drummer’s nerves;
I’m sure, however, whisky serves
To quickly, smartly, nicely quell ‘em.
And lugging harps and basses round
Is sure to very promptly learn ya;
Otherwise your painful hernya
Finds you surgically gowned.