For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow, but
phone calls taper off.
— Johnny Carson
Dear Longman, I can't accept your
invitation, for my house is full of country cousins. I wish they were once
removed.
— Rev. Sydney Smith
I am afraid I play no outdoor games
at all, except dominoes. I have sometimes played dominoes outside French
cafés.
— Oscar Wilde
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit
flies like a banana.
— Groucho Marx
Life does not cease to be funny
when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
— George Bernard Shaw
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