Our Australian Flag
[ Issue 39 ]

Our Australian Flag delights Emily Bronto

For your reading pleasure Bikwil gives you Our Australian Flag

Our Australian Flag

Eileen Marshall has thought about it from all angles, and has come to the only possible conclusion about the flagpoles in Aussie yards.  It's a mental health issue.

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Our Australian Flag — Eileen Marshall


There’s been a lot of talk about our Australian flag. One mob is itching to get rid of it, the other mob wants to cling on, at all costs.

But let’s not rush in. Before we can even consider a flag-changing programme, we must first address an issue that has huge ramifications for the mental health of our citizenry.

Have you noticed that some people in Australia have a flagpole in their yard?

And have you noticed what are they flying on this flagpole?

The one with the stars and the Union Jack!!!

As a famous American professor said when he was investigating puzzling phenomena “Why is that so?”

Why do people fly the Australian flag in Australia?

The only conclusion I can come to is this: they don’t know they’re in Australia. They think they’re in a foreign land and are claiming a small patch of an alien shore for God, Queen and Country.

I’ve thought about it from all angles and that’s all I can come up with. They are suffering from amnesia. They believe everything outside their own patch of dirt is foreign. I link the problem with the increasing pressure for an “R”, such a move has obviously created an historical fugue* in some citizens.

They simply don't know where they are.

I am deeply concerned: This delusion will spread with a change from the old flag to the new and trigger off a psychic pandemic. I’m also worried that the milder ones will tip over the edge and that the more extreme will go completely gaga — they’ll develop agoraphobia and put moats around their houses and mount guard with a musket at the ready to ward off attempts to make them change to some newfangled “R- - - - - - - can” banderole.

Think carefully, we don’t want more people to develop historical fugues. We must counsel all the citizenry at risk. We must do a house to house pamphlet drop, erect huge billboards on the main highways, giant TV screens at shopping centres, anything that will assure these poor creatures, who live on an altogether different planet: “This is Australia Mate and you are living in it.”

[ * Fugue is a technical term for the loss of memory. ]

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